My journey into the light.

20.02.2018

I never stopped dreaming about a better world. My dreams have a lot of power and are starting to manifest more and more. But to actualise my dreams, I had to be courageous, to overcome many tests and allow for years of transformation and healing to happen. My journey of awakening began 2008. It was a journey into my own darkness, all my pain, my denials and doubts, but always towards the light.

 

I have always been hopeful and saw the eternal light that shines in all of us. Even as a child I had healing powers. I was clairvoyant and highly sensitive to what others were thinking and feeling. As a child this is quite scary because you do not understand what you are seeing and feeling.

 

My mother is german and my father persian. As a child, I was at home in both countries and yet I often did not know where I belonged. I was born in Heidelberg in 1975 but my family soon moved to Tehran where I spent the first important years of my life. It is where I developed a deep love for the orient but also a deep pain that should stay with me for many years. The escape from Iran under the Schah in 1979/80 was a painful uprooting in very young years. It let to me feeling like I had a double identity, to a blurred vision of myself and a deep fear of loss. I finally adapted to the German system and suppressed my persian roots. This led the way for years of longing to be loved unconditionally, to be seen and recognised for who I am.

 

In those times I hid away my healing powers in order to fit in. My mother was a healer who practiced her powers only behind closed doors and taught me early on that this is nothing to be shown openly. She sometimes had difficulties to channel her powers and thus often suffered the consequences. This scared me even more but also triggered a deep admiration for her work. As a child it was quite fascinating to have a mother who speaks with angels and does Tarot readings for you. Inspired by her, I read my first spiritual books about the Pleiades at the age of 15.

 

The long years of suppressing my gifts and my true self resulted in a deep soul pain. I grew weaker and felt lost, like I was cut off from the source. Back then I worked as a photographer and artist. A job that I loved very much. However, it also brought a lot of uncertainty into my life, which was not always beneficial for my own development. The pressure became stronger and stronger and at some point I was barely able to take that feeling of not being enough anymore. The more I tried to be perfect, the more exhausted I became. Slowly but surely I drifted off into a depression. The only thing I wanted was silence.

 

Yoga was my way out of the darkness and healed step by step. I became a certified yoga teacher from Spirit Yoga Berlin in 2011 and left the photography scene for many years. I simply wanted to heal in peace. I let go of all status, gave up my well-paid jobs and lived in simplicity and solitude for many years. I felt that I needed to empty myself fully in order to create something new. For the longest time I had no clue what it was though. For years I lived with very little, sustaining my living by giving yoga classes. It was always enough to pay for the very least. I left the system entirely to see clearly, to have time for myself, and to heal. I started living my life in the moment, without a plan. I began to communicate with my soul and feel everything that was and is. It was not easy to chance my life so drastically but I had not choice. My soul brought me to my knees and I was finally ready to awaken. At that time I would have never thought that I would be teaching yoga all around the world and help people to heal.

 

In 2008 the universe sent me a wonderful guide on this path. My spiritual teacher Mari Nil. She was my rock for many years and opened doors for my spiritual path again and again. Finally I began to see that this pain body and the karma I created was always supposed to bring me to this point - to FINALLY AWAKEN and be the soul I have always been. I began to see that I am here on earth to fulfill a bigger plan. My soul plan is a total union through love.


Every day I discovered new spaces inside me that I never knew existed. I began to see and feel myself, everything and nothing, and longed to know who I truly am. During this time I died a thousand times and was reborn. I fought my way through so many dark moments, through the pain, karma and transformation - towards the light. Little by little I became more sensitive. I started to see light beings and receive information from other dimensions that helped me recognise myself. They healed me and opened me for the cosmic wisdom. The more I freed myself from karmic entanglements, attachments, and manipulation, the more I began to vibrate in the space of my beautiful soul. I suddenly felt peace - a union with the universe, with god.

 

In my mundane world many of my friends started to get married and have kids. I however spent four years in a different dimension and only observed this from a distance. It did not bother me that I did not take part in all of this. Quite to the contrary, I felt a new freedom and bliss that I had never known before.

 

With every year of transformation into my soul light, I saw my inner paradise more clearly. I saw past the illusions of our world and ego and cut many karmic programs that kept me from living my soul plan on this earth. It became my life’s mission to investigate this more and more, to master and enlighten my ego. I simply wanted to be free and start a new life full of unconditional love, leaving the survival mode and unite with the kosmos. The more you open to your true self, the more guidance you will receive from the heavens above.

 

My master and teacher Mari Nil healed, guided, and initiated me for many years. She taught me the art of healing, meditation, and soul guidance. The years of transformation and healing brought back so many elemental forces within me that the spiritual world and my soul eventually told me it was time to share this wisdom and heal others.

 

I had been an artist my entire life, a photographer, dancer, and painter. And now all of a sudden I was supposed to be a healer? This was not my plan and I have great respect for this task until today. But the purpose of my awakening was this: to transform my fears, to recognise my true power, to accept that I am the guru and creator of my own life and can bring everything into its natural flow.

 

Slowly I started to see that my Higher Self knew the bigger plan all along and that only my ego fought a losing battle for its small-minded existence and told me I could not do it. I finally decided to let go and let myself be guided by the divine force. Since this moment I am gifted with beauty and abundance every day. This is true prosperity: to live in peace with your soul and the field of love it creates. The paradise is in me!

 

After living in resistance to this power and hiding behind my yoga classes for many years, the force finally became stronger than my fear of showing and practicing my healing powers. Since 2015 I am guiding others in their healing processes and spiritual awakening and finally lead a free and fulfilled life. It makes me so happy to bring this light into the world and connect with so many people through it.

 

To help and to heal is my life’s purpose, in particular those who want to remember their own gifts. My vision is to teach and connect lightworkers around the world. Together, we will create a community of light for us and mother earth. Mother earth needs us and together we can create a new, healed, world. The new cosmic human is a beautiful lightful being that knows about its powers and beauty. The divine vibrates through him and he honours all beings in deep gratitude and love for our creation.

 

Let us be courageous, let us awaken for a better and healthier life. As soon as we allow for inner healing to happen, we can create peace and beauty in our outer world. The universe loves us unconditionally and is waiting to shower us with love. It wants to express its creative power through us but we need to learn to accept this love and understand, that we are worth of it. 

 

I bow before this eternal force that resides in all of us, as soon as we start to love and honour ourselves in our full glory. When we realise that god is in all of us and that is power wants to express itself through us, we can create anything in the light of love.

 

Namasté.

 

 

I am deeply grateful

  • to my spiritual mother Mari Nil, for all her love, healing, inspiration, and support. For opening the doors to my own paradise for me and for connecting me to my soul plan.

  • to my earthly mother Christa, who is a healer herself and who has always been there for me. She showed me what it means to really support and heal others. 

  • to the spiritual world for the healing I was blessed to receive, for all the initiations and transformation. They were hard, but good :).

  • to all those other souls who guided and supported me during my transformation. I am grateful to all the men in my life, friends, business partners and teachers - you were my healers and through you I was able to see myself. 

  • to my soul for being so strong and for guiding me through the darkest moments, always whispering: “Do not give up!”. 

  • to god that I am able to serve as a healer and medium for the light of god .

 

Namasté and Amen. 

Anjuna Saran

 

 

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